Maryam Rezaei is a Co-Founder of Crikos.com, and this is her take on how to be your authentic self.
What does it mean? To be yourself maybe? But then what does “yourself” mean? Doesn’t it mean to say and do as you wish? But how do we know what we want? And if the things we want to say and do are truly what we actually want?
A lot of questions, right? Oops, there’s another one. Let’s try and get to some answers then. From the moment we are born, arguably all we do is seek attention. Firstly, to satisfy our basic survival needs, such as being fed for example. So essentially, no matter what we do, we ask (and sometimes beg) for attention. Thus no matter what our parents or guardians do or don’t do, its imprinted on our behavior. The result? It makes us react accordingly but again to get more attention!
Age of the attention seekers
Some of us become the “good kid” to be heard, and some become the “the naughty kid” to achieve the same goal. So, how can we be authentic when for so many of our formative years we have been “attention seeking puppets”? How can we know what we want is really ours and ours alone?
As a child, I was very low profile. I believed agreeing with everyone and doing as they wanted would help get people’s attention. And also that it would make me more “loved”. Then came the tipping point. I remember crying in front of the mirror after achieving the complete opposite of being popular. My sister then advised me to do the reverse of what I had been doing. To say what I want and give my opinion no matter what! In effect, to be my authentic self.
Peel off the layers
As soon as I started expressing my opinion loud and clear, things changed for the better. There’s a view which says that when you do this, without without having the experience or knowledge of who you are and what you want, you get lost in the “race”. And this results in getting caught up in layers and layers of BS.
But no. Actually in this way you come across the qualities that if you stop and think about, you will find yourself wondering: do I really believe in that? Then you become like an onion that needs its layers peeling off to get to the juicy and fresh center that you really love! So it’s a case of goodbye BS and finding the way to be yourself. Your authentic self.
Instinct is everything
How can we stay pure and authentic? These days I tend to trust my instincts, my gut feeling. In order to really hear my instinct I try to find quiet time with myself. I shut off all the noises in my head, and the environment around me. I listen to my heart beat, to my breathing and the flow of energy in my body. And the answer always pops up and I just know that it’s the right one.
But, is it possible to be your authentic self in every moment? At every decision of our life? It’s a tough call, especially with all the white noise that surrounds us. Social media, messages, phone calls, emails, proposals, meetings, outings, family commitments. It’s an endless stream of disruption and interruption.
And the answer?
Everything in life is down to practice and habit. The secret lies in making listening to your instinct habitual. It sounds simple but we forget about it too often. Or worse still, we ignore it completely. I guarantee that your instinct will give you the answers you need each and every time. Just take the time to listen. Then you can really be yourself.
About the author: Maryam Rezaei is the Co-Founder of Crikos.com and Femally.com. She says:
“I love to connect with people, love all animals, love ice cream, hiking, travelling, in love with music, love dancing. I love everything about life!